sometimes, what we believe we left far behind.. is standing quietly by our side.. all we have to do, is turn around

i spent last night reading a fellow blogger's blog with her.. it had been some time since we revisited that link... a couple of hours later, we realized that we had not only revisited the various entries, but had opened up doors (and windows) to many many beautiful and not so beautiful memories.. it was time for some nostalgia!!

one of her entries is my inspiration for this very entry.. she said, "some friends come into your life for a reason while others for a season." one simple statement and a little subtle play of words - and you have a statement that says so much without saying that much.

i have come to believe that life's too short to waste it talking about people who dont matter to you and have no importance in your life - acquaintances as they are better known. these i believe are the 'friends' that enter your lives for a season..

today, i want to dedicate this post to some of the most important people in my life who have left a lasting impact on me... people who have helped carve and shape the person that i am today... (a person that i love very much ;) and just a few things i want to say to them.. that i dont say to them, as often as i should..

what better place to start, but home itself.

FAMILY:
i always face this dilemma of who should come up on my list first - mom or dad? the fact that i typed in mom first should be giving me a very subtle hint at a subconscious level, but im going to be a bit overly diplomatic and pick my elder sister.. :)

P**** :
september 17, 1989: A gorgeously pretty young girl of 8. excited and happy to learn that a person was born into her family... a person she would lovingly call Dia many years later. a baby she wanted to stuff in the washing machine and 'clean' her when she was upset... a baby she loved and cared for like a second mother. Im perhaps the luckiest child alive as i received the love and care of not only my wonderful parents but also this second mother = my older sister!

if i had to draw an analogy, i'd probably compare her to the ocean.... calm and composed, yet with beautiful mysteries and characteristics hidden deep inside of her.. provocation gets her to blow her top and you know the kind of damage a tsunami can cause :) ... she has been my role model, my mentor, my friend, my argument practice target, my sister, and most importantly a wonderful human being... fights are inevitable with siblings, and we did JUST that.. having her around to guide me helped me understand things a lot easier and faster.. things that other kids my age had no idea even existed... i dont regret growing up too fast... im glad i did, and im ever more grateful for the people i did with.

marriage hasnt changed her all that much.. apart from the fact that she works hectic hours and lives in another city... communication has never been an issue with us... and i know that at any time of the day, any day of the year - she'll be there for me - to support me, to encourage me, to scold and correct me, and if nothing else, be by my side - as just her presence can do wonders for me :)

i love you P.. you're the bestest and i love you the most! :)

ps- shes a fantastic writer... totally check out her blog :)

MOM:
she truly is SUPER mom!!!! Momz always been there for us... she's always effortlessly stayed involved in our lives and given us the kind of encouragement, support, independence, and criticism that kids need... whether we're unwell or just plain upset - shes always there by our side.. knowing exactly what to say and do to make us feel all good :) we've taken her for granted a lot - and i deeply regret that.. and i know nothing can undo all of those times when we should have not said that one harsh word, or ignored her request for something... after all her selflessness in dealing with us, for the longest time, we never picked up on it and reciprocated.. but id like to think that things have changed.. over the past 2-3 years.. mom, P and i have become closer than ever and we can talk and share in a way that lot of kids cant with their moms.. she's been the coolest mom ever and one of the most practical, ambitious (shes taking medical transcription courses now - im so proud of her) and hardworking people i've known. OBHR teaches you all about work-life balance... theory can only tell you what and how to do something.. but if you want to see it DONE - come meet my mom! she helps out at work and manages the house ... deals with family issues as well as the tantrums of me, my sister and my dad, but never complains... even after having no time for herself, shes always ready with a smile when you go to her for anything... i love you forever and always and i hope that i can make you proud and live up to your expectations of me :)

DAD:
the man of the house.. truly, his situation is probably the 'worst' so to speak... 3 crazy, independent minded, highly vocal women and him in the minority :) not to worry, dad holds his own.... hes got the best sense of humor in any man that ive known... when we were kids, he hardly reacted when we showed him report cards or marks.. he'd just sign wherever required and come to school functions ONLY if they were absolutely necessary.. the only time Dad ever came to school was during my graduation!! and i was chosen to deliver a speech and he was very proud of me and even told me so... which made up for everything else ... even the fact that my dad didnt remember which standard i was in till i graduated :) and my mom didnt know what my class teacher looked like from grade 9... you must be thinking - oh .. what a neglected child! poor thing... but im going to stop you right there.. because this system used to work just fine with us... his lack of reaction wasnt a sign of disinterest. he noticed and rememberd everything but just pretended to be aloof... my sister's wedding changed all of that... the feelings we all suspected he was hiding inside of him - were truly there.. now, dont get all imaginative and anticipate a big explosioin of the coming out of all those years of hiding inside of himself... dad's just become a lot more expressive and vocal about his feelings.. and i think this totally helps strengthen our bonds as a family... we understand each other better and have rather enlightening discussion over dinner or coffee all the time. this has made us a stronger family unit and i believe that:

come what may our way
we will stand united and fight
attempts to break us will fail
united we will strengthen our might.

Haha, that was my first and last POOOR attempt at poetry but im sure you got my drift.


so! all i want to say is thank you to these 3 pillars of support in my life.... everything i am today... and everything i will be tomorrow has been greatly influenced by these positive forces in my life.. and i'm ever so grateful to the big G-O-D up there... for these gifts of family are better than any i could have ever asked for.

incongruously incorrigible

.... a term that my very good friend T came up with today... as part of a rather sensible conversation we were having...

why do people do the things they do? is it because they believe in their actions? or is it because they believe that their actions are right because others seem to think so? have people today lost their sense of individuality... have they succumbed to the whole "go with the flow" trend??

does doing something that a lot of people believe to be right make it right? to what extent should we adjust our belief systems to live in harmony with society? WHY should we adjust our belief systems? why cant we live in a world where everyone respects one another's differing ideals... is it really that impossible to accept someone who is different?

look around you... do you notice a common thread that links you and your closest group of friends?? do the people you DO NOT associate with have something in common? are we victims of stereotyping??

when i look around.. i find that all around me are people who have very unique qualities and could be such beautiful people.. but have fallen prey to the horrible condition of "groupthink"... they have lost most individuality and exist just as one other X. i am surrounded by millions of these X and at times i feel claustrophobic... trapped in a never ending spiral of X that try to suppress me... something that holds me back from being myself.... from being ME!!

life's too short to expect people to understand and accept you... it gets even shorter if you try and be like them... so i urge you today... to forget about all the societal norms and what people of society perceive to be 'right'... after all .. that perception isnt the truth.. its just the effect of the opinions of a large group of people..... its a never ending cycle... very similar to the question of what came first.. the chicken or the egg??

speaking of eggs, i went out to a yaki tori (japanese food) restaurant today and had some amazing stuff... some of it was just... well, lets just say i didnt like some of the dishes.. but some of the others were fabulous... my advice, if you're trying japanese food for the first time... go with an expert... experimenting isnt the way to go..

so back to the more philosophical stuff..

remember, adjusting and improving yourself is not wrong... in fact, its recommended... but changing yourself and trying to be someone you're not just to gain 'acceptance' is plain foolishness... in life, if you love who you are... or what you are... dont think twice about what people say... no one is ever satisfied or happy no matter how much you try... its your life.. you're only going to live it once.. live it the way you want to and you'll have no regrets...