Saturday, May 24, 2008

sometimes, what we believe we left far behind.. is standing quietly by our side.. all we have to do, is turn around

i spent last night reading a fellow blogger's blog with her.. it had been some time since we revisited that link... a couple of hours later, we realized that we had not only revisited the various entries, but had opened up doors (and windows) to many many beautiful and not so beautiful memories.. it was time for some nostalgia!!

one of her entries is my inspiration for this very entry.. she said, "some friends come into your life for a reason while others for a season." one simple statement and a little subtle play of words - and you have a statement that says so much without saying that much.

i have come to believe that life's too short to waste it talking about people who dont matter to you and have no importance in your life - acquaintances as they are better known. these i believe are the 'friends' that enter your lives for a season..

today, i want to dedicate this post to some of the most important people in my life who have left a lasting impact on me... people who have helped carve and shape the person that i am today... (a person that i love very much ;) and just a few things i want to say to them.. that i dont say to them, as often as i should..

what better place to start, but home itself.

FAMILY:
i always face this dilemma of who should come up on my list first - mom or dad? the fact that i typed in mom first should be giving me a very subtle hint at a subconscious level, but im going to be a bit overly diplomatic and pick my elder sister.. :)

P**** :
september 17, 1989: A gorgeously pretty young girl of 8. excited and happy to learn that a person was born into her family... a person she would lovingly call Dia many years later. a baby she wanted to stuff in the washing machine and 'clean' her when she was upset... a baby she loved and cared for like a second mother. Im perhaps the luckiest child alive as i received the love and care of not only my wonderful parents but also this second mother = my older sister!

if i had to draw an analogy, i'd probably compare her to the ocean.... calm and composed, yet with beautiful mysteries and characteristics hidden deep inside of her.. provocation gets her to blow her top and you know the kind of damage a tsunami can cause :) ... she has been my role model, my mentor, my friend, my argument practice target, my sister, and most importantly a wonderful human being... fights are inevitable with siblings, and we did JUST that.. having her around to guide me helped me understand things a lot easier and faster.. things that other kids my age had no idea even existed... i dont regret growing up too fast... im glad i did, and im ever more grateful for the people i did with.

marriage hasnt changed her all that much.. apart from the fact that she works hectic hours and lives in another city... communication has never been an issue with us... and i know that at any time of the day, any day of the year - she'll be there for me - to support me, to encourage me, to scold and correct me, and if nothing else, be by my side - as just her presence can do wonders for me :)

i love you P.. you're the bestest and i love you the most! :)

ps- shes a fantastic writer... totally check out her blog :)

MOM:
she truly is SUPER mom!!!! Momz always been there for us... she's always effortlessly stayed involved in our lives and given us the kind of encouragement, support, independence, and criticism that kids need... whether we're unwell or just plain upset - shes always there by our side.. knowing exactly what to say and do to make us feel all good :) we've taken her for granted a lot - and i deeply regret that.. and i know nothing can undo all of those times when we should have not said that one harsh word, or ignored her request for something... after all her selflessness in dealing with us, for the longest time, we never picked up on it and reciprocated.. but id like to think that things have changed.. over the past 2-3 years.. mom, P and i have become closer than ever and we can talk and share in a way that lot of kids cant with their moms.. she's been the coolest mom ever and one of the most practical, ambitious (shes taking medical transcription courses now - im so proud of her) and hardworking people i've known. OBHR teaches you all about work-life balance... theory can only tell you what and how to do something.. but if you want to see it DONE - come meet my mom! she helps out at work and manages the house ... deals with family issues as well as the tantrums of me, my sister and my dad, but never complains... even after having no time for herself, shes always ready with a smile when you go to her for anything... i love you forever and always and i hope that i can make you proud and live up to your expectations of me :)

DAD:
the man of the house.. truly, his situation is probably the 'worst' so to speak... 3 crazy, independent minded, highly vocal women and him in the minority :) not to worry, dad holds his own.... hes got the best sense of humor in any man that ive known... when we were kids, he hardly reacted when we showed him report cards or marks.. he'd just sign wherever required and come to school functions ONLY if they were absolutely necessary.. the only time Dad ever came to school was during my graduation!! and i was chosen to deliver a speech and he was very proud of me and even told me so... which made up for everything else ... even the fact that my dad didnt remember which standard i was in till i graduated :) and my mom didnt know what my class teacher looked like from grade 9... you must be thinking - oh .. what a neglected child! poor thing... but im going to stop you right there.. because this system used to work just fine with us... his lack of reaction wasnt a sign of disinterest. he noticed and rememberd everything but just pretended to be aloof... my sister's wedding changed all of that... the feelings we all suspected he was hiding inside of him - were truly there.. now, dont get all imaginative and anticipate a big explosioin of the coming out of all those years of hiding inside of himself... dad's just become a lot more expressive and vocal about his feelings.. and i think this totally helps strengthen our bonds as a family... we understand each other better and have rather enlightening discussion over dinner or coffee all the time. this has made us a stronger family unit and i believe that:

come what may our way
we will stand united and fight
attempts to break us will fail
united we will strengthen our might.

Haha, that was my first and last POOOR attempt at poetry but im sure you got my drift.


so! all i want to say is thank you to these 3 pillars of support in my life.... everything i am today... and everything i will be tomorrow has been greatly influenced by these positive forces in my life.. and i'm ever so grateful to the big G-O-D up there... for these gifts of family are better than any i could have ever asked for.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

incongruously incorrigible

.... a term that my very good friend T came up with today... as part of a rather sensible conversation we were having...

why do people do the things they do? is it because they believe in their actions? or is it because they believe that their actions are right because others seem to think so? have people today lost their sense of individuality... have they succumbed to the whole "go with the flow" trend??

does doing something that a lot of people believe to be right make it right? to what extent should we adjust our belief systems to live in harmony with society? WHY should we adjust our belief systems? why cant we live in a world where everyone respects one another's differing ideals... is it really that impossible to accept someone who is different?

look around you... do you notice a common thread that links you and your closest group of friends?? do the people you DO NOT associate with have something in common? are we victims of stereotyping??

when i look around.. i find that all around me are people who have very unique qualities and could be such beautiful people.. but have fallen prey to the horrible condition of "groupthink"... they have lost most individuality and exist just as one other X. i am surrounded by millions of these X and at times i feel claustrophobic... trapped in a never ending spiral of X that try to suppress me... something that holds me back from being myself.... from being ME!!

life's too short to expect people to understand and accept you... it gets even shorter if you try and be like them... so i urge you today... to forget about all the societal norms and what people of society perceive to be 'right'... after all .. that perception isnt the truth.. its just the effect of the opinions of a large group of people..... its a never ending cycle... very similar to the question of what came first.. the chicken or the egg??

speaking of eggs, i went out to a yaki tori (japanese food) restaurant today and had some amazing stuff... some of it was just... well, lets just say i didnt like some of the dishes.. but some of the others were fabulous... my advice, if you're trying japanese food for the first time... go with an expert... experimenting isnt the way to go..

so back to the more philosophical stuff..

remember, adjusting and improving yourself is not wrong... in fact, its recommended... but changing yourself and trying to be someone you're not just to gain 'acceptance' is plain foolishness... in life, if you love who you are... or what you are... dont think twice about what people say... no one is ever satisfied or happy no matter how much you try... its your life.. you're only going to live it once.. live it the way you want to and you'll have no regrets...

Saturday, August 25, 2007

No (wo)man is an island...

People-phobia - a condition that develops if too much time is spent in the company of many extremely "intelligent" know-it-alls.
symptoms:
-lack of appetite
-constant feeling of "get-me-home!"
-fall in productivity

Man cannot live alone by nature. but, seriously, has anybody ever heard of "spend time with just yourself to maintain decent levels of sanity!"

The meaning of relationships has been grossly warped in today's world. No one values people for who they are but wants to value them for who they can be moulded into. Acceptance....Tolerance.... Respect..... Understanding... Discretion....these words seem to have completely lost their meaning. The oxford dictionary should actually be getting smaller instead of expanding and including random words which are no more than just slang in local languages.
This very fact explains why the purpose of our lives is also getting more random by the day.

Culture, Tradition, Faith, Peace- there are so many people in the world who seem to have forgotten these key factors that play such an important role in our lives. Hardwork, commitment, dedication, ethics - are no longer the stepping stones to success. People have started to take the terminology " rat-race" a little too literally.

We have reached a point in time where what's most important is a reality check. Figure out what your priorities are, Practice what you preach.... actually, just practice... you are in no position to preach to anyone! , Respect people's time, decisions and opinions. The world is at your feet, no doubt, but dont forget, you're sharing that space with so many other independent-minded individuals who are equally brilliant and talented.

i agree that what im about to mention next may... no, will.... sound preachy. but these are all just general observations i have made about the people of Gen-M.
1) what i say shall always and forever be correct. any opinion you might have ( however more practical or logical ) shall be shot down with such harsh words that make you want to kill yourself for even trying

2)Relationships and dating is the next big joke. you dont have to really bond and connect on a deeper level. understanding, mutual respect, communication are no longer the recquisites. again,the phrase tall, dark and handsome - is being taken literally.

3)maturity could play a major factor in the previous point. however, friendships and family ties are not being valued at all. if you're a little different in terms of thoughts or opinions, you are immediately classified into the "weird" category. in order to fit in, so many young people have lost themselves. the only positive aspect of this issue i can see is that 100 years down the line, everybody will love everybody else because in an effort to fit in, all varied personalities have been merged into one. now, who wont like and appreciate someone who is EXACTLY like them. ideal world huh?

4) family- the only bunch of people that will stand by you forever. no matter what you do or say. hurt them, mistreat them, ignore them, avoid them, Family is something that will never let you go. so why is it that instead of appreciating this unconditional love and embracing it and living each moment to the fullest, we run behind useless, absolutely unproductive pursuits. 10 years down the line, all we'll have left is regret and shame.

time once lost, never comes back. they say, its never too late... but sometimes- it might just be...

Monday, August 13, 2007

7 to 7 - Dal to Daaru

Waking up at 7 am for a random city tour, on perhaps the hottest day in the year, may not seem appealing intially... but when you have all your good friends in the same group as you, and you're just going around doing your own thing, Sundays could not have been spent in any other way.

Our first stop was the Merlion. Initially we were all so excited about taking pictures and our excitement reached new heights ( refer Facebook pictures ) We were shown the old and new Parliament Houses. Our tour guide- Auntie Sue - was the most adorable little Singaporean lady ever. We stopped outside this huge pillar sort of thing where they had engraved the names of all the soldiers who had lost their lives in the war. On the other side was the Padang. She was, very enthusiastically, explaining to us..uhh... im not really sure, because we were all looking out the other side of the bus at this realllly hot model who was having a photo shoot right near the pillar thing. = ) poor Auntie Sue kept saying - alright, boys and girls... pay attention here!

Moving on, we took a short - and i mean really short walk - around Chinatown. I think it was just an exercise to get us out into the hot, humid weather and back into the bus so we would appreciate the whole concept of air con =)

A 'short drive' through Little India did not happen since all of us were like " NO!! We go there almost everyday, Nahin!!!" Our last stop was the National Museum of Singapore. The place was sooo huge and all the displays were sooo amazingly creative - I was totally blown over! To imagine that it was a fellow human being who actually thinks of and produces stuff so spectacular is reallly overwhelming!! I want to go back soon and have a look at the whole place.
There was a special exhibit imported from China for a month or so. It was basically rocks and stones that were made to look like food. The coloring was all natural. It was a little disgusting looking but the concept was pretty cool.

Finally, we stopped for lunch which was mmmmmmm!!! Indian buffet at Riverwalk Tandoor...best meal in almost a month!!!

The rest of the day was just spent chilling out and playing pool ( a game i have come to love now - because im getting a lot better at it ) A major task to complete was buying K's 18th birthday gift. Who else but De,Di and Pr to go out to the consex shop in Bugis, to pick up a little something from "The Erection Collection". The birthday party went off pretty well with a whole lot of people totally drunk. Quitting drinking is the best thing one can do - you get to watch other people make complete fools of themselves when they're drunk. =)

However, even after the early morning, the tiring day, and the drunk night - 5 of us still managed to stay up till 7 am at Burlington Square doing absolutely nothing. Early mornings in Singapore look way better when you stay up the whole night and fall asleep just as the rest of the island state is waking up.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

accounting to cooking-maybe i should switch lines? =)

last night we finally set up everyone's notebooks and the lan and had our first clan game - counterstrike - if you're wondering what the hell im talking about. =) going online and shooting down one another definitely helps fight the depression. the satisfaction that can be gained from kicking some ass is unmatched!!!
however, it does become a little complicated when you dont plan things out with your teammates because then you have random lines being screamed out like " dia! watch out.. hes coming from that side... near that long tunnel thing, behind the crate." forget understanding what the guy is talking about, you get even more confused and get killed in the process =)

BUT, when you have an academic briefing the next morning at 9 am which you have been warned about - staying up till 2 am isnt the wisest thing to do!

9am-we all piled into the "biggest" seminar room at SMU which can seat about 100-150 students! things were going ok. and then the speeches and presentations began! some of the information looked pretty useful so some of us took those parts down. at the end of the first speech, by the Dean of the School of Accountancy, we were told that all the information would be put up online so we can just go back and take a look at important links we might need!!!!!!

10:30 am-3 mind-numbing presentations later we were all told to go out and indulge in some " light refreshments" the food was pretty good. we're considering of asking the admin where they get their food from and maybe get a small place put up at the residences. eating out everday is not fun! especially if you're weird like me and eat chicken rice- both meals- for over a week!! yes i know- hai ram!!!


finally at 11:30 we were allowed to leave... slowly everyone crawled out thinking to themselves that if all the stuff is going to be put up online, why bother having this presentation!!!! ahh! but the food was definitely worth it.

another thing you must know about some of the "locals" here. there is a small group of indians who have been living here for quite a few decades. so the younger generations are born and brought up in S'pore. so by logic they would be Sporeans of Indian origin right?
if you ever walk upto these "indians" and say - hi! where are you from?" the reply would be " im from Singapore lah!" and then you go one step ahead and ask them " but you're indian right?" - those could pretty much be your last few steps buddy. these "Sporeans" go blind with rage if anyone tries to call them indian and have this weird sort of attitude where they'll hate you just because you're from India.

now you must be wondering how all that connects up with the title of this post? it doesnt. i saved the best for last =)

I made myself lunch today!! it was sooooo good!! ive included the recipe below so enjoy :D'

Ingredients:
1 cup rice
2 cups water
1 microwave
1 packet of MTR puliogre paste ( its the south indian touch =) )
50 gms of love
100 gms of " i miss home"
200 gms of " i miss my mom's food"!!
a glass of OJ
and
a pinch of salt

im sure you all enjoyed that delicious meal. time to the dishes now!!!! =)

Sunday, August 5, 2007

From Taaandoors to Tandoors...can lah!

I woke up this morning feeling all sad and low. Mom left today. As I lay around feeling all depressed, Uncle walked up to me and said very enthusiastically - we're going out for Indian food!!!! I didnt really care at the point, but his next statement brought me to tears - I was laughing so hard. "We're going to a restaurant called Tandoor"!!!!!!!!!! P - i miss you so much.

Moving to a different place is quite hard. Everything changes. Some things for the better, some for the worse. But whatever changes - its all part of an experience that makes you learn more about yourself - what's most important to you, who are the people in your life that matter the most, how bad your cooking skills are =).


Mustafa - the huge shopping center bang in the middle of the "indian district" is over-rated no doubt, but definitely god's gift to students like me who move here. whatever you need can be found within those 4 walls. from food to bags to shoes to jewellery to electronics to.... need to take a breather- that shop is kickass huge!!!

Organisation is what this city survives on. everything works on a pre-fixed system. wherever you go - you're given a token number and only need to bother looking up when the system beeps out your number.

Travelling in Singapore is reallly convenient and easy. All bus routes and numbers are put up at bus stops. going from one end of the island to the other shouldnt take you more than 1 hour at the max. this kinda kills the whole " long romantic drives at night" concept, but what the hell, when you're late for class/work, you're alright with sacrificing that much =)

the locals are pretty cool - they seem really helpful. they're amazingly hardworking! its craazy!
can = can be done, ok, perfect, i know the place
can is a word/term that you will hear everywhere around you!! its really funny.

living alone is really hard initally. you're always homesick, you wanna go home and just stay there forever. but things dont always go the way you want them to, and sometimes you have to give somethings up to gain more from life. but i wonder, ( it maybe to early to, but i still do ) - is it all going to be worth all that initial misery. only time will tell ....

Friday, August 3, 2007

FTB Run 3 2007 !!!

the freshman team building camp


day 1 :
we had this really cool briefin before we left for the camp. we first met our group members and our facilitator ( commonly called faci ) - we were 3 indians, 1 malay, 7-8 locals, and 2 chinese.we set out for the "camp site". the drive was pretty short coz well, it IS singapore- max travel time from any given point to another is 1 hour!!!! =)

so we arrived at the place. it was sorta like a resort we would have back home. we all assembled at the canteen area... which was just like an enclosed thing with 4 short walls. we had some ice-breaker games- really lame ones- running and catching types. then we set out to another part of the camp site and were told that we had to set up our tents. that was really cool- the whole process is really easy and quick. and the tents were pretty spacious- red and black in color... reallly cool!! i wanna probably buy one. we were given sleeping bags ( black ) which we got to keep. =) the whole ftb camp was organised in such a way that we were given tasks in which we had to plan ( brainstorming, decision making and simulation ) and then execute.


there were totally about 60 individual groups with 15 ppl each approx. all these groups were then clubbed into 5 sections- spartans,retro groovers,pirates,cavemen,cyborgs. the aim of this was inter group and inter section competition. which was a pretty cool concept i thought.

lunch was chicken rice - which is a local speciality. its pretty decent. just boiled rice, chicken pieces and veggies. its a little low on masala but whatever =)

the first task was making the tallest foot tower. so u just have to put ur feet one above the other. we reached a ht of 2.55 m and the record was 2.8.

then in the afternoon we had what i thought would have been the coolest task of the camp. RAFTING!!
we were given the necessary supplies( poles and ropes and barrels) and were told to build the raft from scratch. we had instructors who could have guided us, but my group seemed to know what they were doing so we didnt ask anyone. most of the groups had men who had served national service so they knew how to tie knots like the fisherman knot and all - which helps make the raft stable and strong. so anyway, after a lot of sweating and insect killing ( it was reallly horrid ) we completed the task and were really enthusiastic to take it out to sea. so we carried the stupid heavy raft out to the sea. and the barrels were fallin off on the way only. hehehehe,
first we were taken out to sea and were asked to lift our feet off and put our hands above our heads to check if the life jackets were the right size and all. then we all got onto the raft. and i had to sit on top of one of the barrels which unfortunately was the loosest one. with GREAAT effort i jumped onto the raft and 5 seconds later i was up in the air and then landed right in the water with a big lump of salt in my mouth. it was sooo gross. :P as a result, we took all that effort and got wet and salty and muddy for no reason :)

after that we were alloowed to go shower and change and freshen up before the next task. as u would have already calculated, there were about 900 people at the camp out of which there were 400 girls. the total number of shower cubicles were 30!!! some of them were out of the way so no one usd to really use them. so basically we had about 20 shower cubicles for allll the girls. one thing u shud know about chinese girls- the 'secret' behind their awesome hair is the fact that they wash it everyday -sometimes twice. as a result their hair falls like leaves from a tree in autumn. every 12 hours the bathrooms would get clogged and get flooded. it was reallly disgusting!! and u have no choice but to shower in those puddles coz ur feeling so dirty and desperately want to shower. i am now officially addicted to shower =) now i know, all of you will be smiling and nodding your heads approvin of the change in my attitude :)

the first night, we had some "fun" games. they were some total timepass things which i dont think are worht going into in detail. lights out happend at midnight so we all crashed after that long and tiring day


day 2:
breakfast was at 7 am. there was some thing called fried noodles which looked like hakka noodles dripping in soya sauce but tasted really dry. it was disgusting! then our first activity was tunnelling. they had like an obstacle course kinda thing in the tunnel. but it was really small and u had to crawl through most parts. and it was really dark. when the entrance door opened i freaked out and couldnt breathe ( i think im claustrophobic also now!!! ) so i didnt do the activity. but no regrets!!!
my team members started acting weird today. they made me feel really out of place. everytime id try and pitch in for suggestions theyd look at me and look back and continue discussing their own stuff. it was quite rude i thought!! so then i got really homesick and sad and cried!!! there was this one female pamela aka pam - she was reallly irritating. and i cant stand her at all!! im sure shes the one who poisoned everyone else against me. unfortunately, shes in my school.

then we just wasted the whole day trying to think of a group cheer and section cheer. for that night was CAMPFIRE NIGHT!!
that was a pretty cool event. it was really hot though!! one of the percussion groups from one of the CCA clubs at SMU - "Samba Masala"" - they were reallllly cool!! i wanna watch some of their performances. they re really good. great beats and good rhythm and all.
at the end we had some "dancing" but it was mambo night so the music was really sad and i didnt enjoy it at all. hahahah. they had some confetti showers so we had to sweep up and clean it up at midnight. it was so irritating!!!


day 3:
finally, the last day arrived!!
we had like a mini amazing race where we had sme really cool tasks to complete. the first one was like something u would have in takeshi's castle. u have so slide across this thing from one end to the other and collect a puzzle piece and slide back. its all soapy and the seniors throw water balloons at u and spray u with water guns. it was soooo funny!!!
the other events were really good too. quite challenging. after we finished the race, we just whiled away time and then finally came home. i ran home and showered and washed my hair. ahh! so clean!! then i literally RAN home to mummmy. i was so excited to be home!!!!

so that was my freshman team building camp! overall - an average event. but hats off to the seniors- it was so well organised and they had so many tasks and stuff- didnt feel bored or jobless for even a minute during the 3 days. however, im still experiencing body ache from all the activity.. hahah, im officially ms rusty bones now =)